May 9, 2020
If you’re a mom, you understand just how rewarding motherhood can truly be. From those proud first steps to the temper tantrums at the grocer store, we, as mothers, get to experience all the good, bad, and ugly aspects of being a parent. But even though we understand how important our role is, the fact of the matter is that motherhood is not easy.
Inevitably, there will be times when exhaustion takes over, and the feeling of failure will settle in. It is important to remember during these moments that all mothers experience feelings of ‘mommy guilt’, and you are not alone. In her podcast, The One Session Coach, one of our CEO’s and co-founders, Phoenix Vincent, describes ways to see the beauty in motherhood and how we can overcome ‘mommy guilt’ for a more satisfying, gratifying, and healthy experience.
See below for the full podcast:
Many women experience feelings of guilt, doubt, or uncertainty in regards to their parenting style. This worry of falling short of expectations is commonly referred to as ‘mommy guilt’, and it is a lot more common than one would believe. As with most issues in parenting, each woman’s experience is completely unique.
“Mommy guilt wears a lot of different faces, but it’s all basically the same beast,” says Phoenix. “It comes to working moms when they return to work. It comes to stay-at-home moms when they dream of what they would do if they had their freedom back. It comes to moms of all walks, when we look at the other moms who have a different strength set than us. But the truth is, we’re all in the same boat.”
It is during these times of doubt that self-acceptance and gratitude become even more important in our day-to-day lives and will often be the defining factor between success and failure. But with so many changes being made to our daily lives and routines, what can be done to help overcome these feelings and promote a more positive motherhood experience?
In a world so heavily influenced by social media, it is easy for mothers to feel inadequate compared to their peers. It’s important to remember that people often only post the most positive aspects of their lives on social platforms, and comparing your motherhood experience with the assumed experience of others is a step in the wrong direction.
“Enough is not a real thing. Nor is a comparison,” explains Phoenix. “All of us are so unique that comparison is absurd, and will only lead us to discouragement, since we tend to compare our weaknesses with other strengths.”
Instead of obsessing over the things you are not doing, Phoenix suggests focusing on the things that you are doing. Through self-acceptance and gratitude, you can allow yourself to feel proud and accomplished with the work you are putting into nurturing and loving your children, and push doubt from your thoughts.
Juggling work, home responsibilities, and social obligations can be incredibly overwhelming for anyone — especially mothers — and it’s important to create balance and avoid overloading yourself with impossible expectations.
“All of us who are trying to balance motherhood with anything else — even just time alone or a date night — do it by making decisions,” Phoenix explains. “Not a single one of us can do it all, and so in order to balance, we do some things and simply just don’t do others. The biggest thing about balance is picking what is important to us — picking what we know we can do, and picking what we are willing to let go of.”
By understanding your limits and choosing the things that are most important to you and your family, you can start fostering a more positive and peaceful motherhood experience and overcome feelings of guilt.
If you are a mom that is experiencing mommy guilt, take a step back and allow yourself to view the ways in which you are a great mom. As each person’s experience with motherhood is unique, it’s important to avoid comparing your motherhood with another’s. Instead, foster a more positive way of thinking by inviting gratitude into your life, and celebrate the ways that you are an incredible mother.
For more ways to instill healing, positivity, and gratitude into your life, listen to Phoenix’s full podcast, The One Session Coach, today on Spotify: