Mother's Day is a Mixed Bag

Mother's Day is such a mixed bag, isn't it? I was actually first introduced to the fact that it isn't a happy day for everyone in an unexpected way. My mother raised 9 kids. She taught us to be strong and independent and kind. And yet, she hated Mother's Day. She said that she hated hearing all of the people honoring their moms because it made her feel bad about all her perceived "failures" as a mother. What??

Mother's Day Can Be Difficult

Mother's Day is hard for a lot of people. For women that have struggled with infertility, it is a reminder of something they long for and don't have. It's difficult to see others celebrating the one thing they want the most. For mothers who have lost a child, it is a reminder of their loss. For the first several years after my own mother passed, it was a very sad day for me as well as for many who have lost their mom. It's a hard day for women who don't want to have children but feel pressured to do so, and want to know they matter equally as much.

Mother's Day Can Be Emotional

For anyone involved in adoption, Mother's Day is a weird day. I never knew the depths of emotion I would feel on that front until we adopted our 5th child, who was born just 2 days before Mother's Day. That means his birthday is always near or on Mother's Day. His mother insisted on a closed adoption. So for me, every year on his birthday I think of her, I honor her, and I worry for her. I hope she is doing okay with the double reminder on her Mother’s Day. 

Mother's Day Can Be Complicated

There is very little about Mother's Day that is simple.

Mother’s Day doesn’t always equal pure bliss. I invite you to:

Decide what you want Mother's Day to mean to you. Don't let others determine your experience. Send gratitude and love to those in different circumstances, but make it whatever you want it to be. If you have kids, celebrate with them. If you don't - how can you honor the creative power in you? 

How Do You Celebrate Mother's Day?

Can you celebrate your accomplishments? Can you share a work of art or creation with another? Can you find meaning in the day by uplifting someone else who is struggling? Can it simply be a day of new beginnings? The act of a mother is one of creation and new life. This can happen in infinite ways. It is not limited to giving birth. It is not limited to gender. It is not limited to perceived "worthiness."

The world needs you, whatever day it is, or how it has looked like in the past. How can you create and give life to those around you this Mother's Day?

As always, I love you deeply. I feel a motherly sense towards you, our RMO family. I honor you for all you do and thank you for the light you bring to the world.

Happy Mother’s Day,

-Phoenix